For the last 4-6ish weeks I have been battling depression. It has been awful. I actually don't notice it at first. I never notice it in the beginning. I have been medicinally depressed before, but it is always so much easier to see it once I am back to normal. I get better at seeing the signs each time. The hormones they put me on cause it. It is always a certain medication that does it.
I have spent weeks going to bed between 7 and 8:30 p.m. Often times I just go in my room and lay there. Many times I cannot sleep, although I try. Mostly, I just don't want to face the world. I started to notice my mood change this time when I was overly irritated with David because he didn't want ice cream and I did. I was so irritated that I wouldn't let him go with me to get it. That's not like me.
Then, he noticed that I stopped talking. He would always ask, "are you okay?" I always respond that I am, because I don't feel mad. I just simply don't have a desire to talk to anyone. Which, as you know, is not at all the typical me. I've just been going through the motions of life.
Today is the last day of this medication. I am so happy. I can't wait to be back to my normal self. And I can't wait to not eat everything in my sight.
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